SEO Scams

SEO Scams

SEO is the art of getting your web page on to the front page of Google. Since I run so many domains, I get contacted by these types of people at least once a week. I know most of them are scams so I’ve been trying to get one to reply back with the basics of what they offer. For the first time, one did.

(Hint, if you’re soliciting work online, make sure you actually reply to people who contact you.)

Today I was contacted by Asha Ram of EarnBySEO, and followed up my Anand Pal of the same company.

The website they contacted me about today was my Old and Vintage Photos site. This is merely a collection of pictures I’ve scanned in from 35mm slides I’ve collected over the years.

In the first paragraph they say “We can definitely Place your business on Google’s first Page so that the people looking for ,“Vintage Photos, Seattle Space Needle,vacations around the world, trips to Disneyland and other amusement parks,” they can find your website on first page and can contact you for the business.”

First problem – no one, and I suspect even people at Google, can place a business on the first page. Those few who can are using black-hat techniques that will destroy the longevity of any website. The cost to do so is usually so high that it is reserved for either outright scam sites collecting credit card numbers or places like Viagra sellers.

The second problem, if they had bothered to read my website, is that not only are those not the keywords I’d be tagging, I’m not selling a product or service there. Their lack of reading comprehension shows that they didn’t do even a cursory examination of the site to understand the business model and to define the work that actually needs to be done.

“We have GOOGLE CERTIFIED professional & expert to run a successful SEO campaign & they follow Latest Organic Google Certified Procedures and Algorithms.” Certified by whom?

The next section of the email is a table of actions they’ll take. Some of these may be needed, but taken all together they just took a long list of SEO tasks and put them into a table.

On-Page work activities :-
Keyword research/Analysis
Meta tags/Title & Description tag Optimization
Competitor Analysis
Anchor tag Optimization ( H1, H2 etc.)
Alt tag Optimization
Content Optimization
Robots.txt Optimization
Fixing Canonical Issue
Fixing Broken Links
Creating Custom soft 404 page
Fixing HTTP and HTTPS
Fixing Non-WWW and WWW urls
Removal of unnecessary Redirects
Removal of Unnecessary tags
Create 301 Redirect
Update copyright year
Making URLs SEO friendly
XML site map creation and Submission
HTML Site Map creation
Perform an online plagiarism review.
Place social media badges on website

Off-Page work activities:-
Classified Ads Submission
Classified Ads Promotion
1 unique, 450 word article
Article Submissions
Article Promotion
1 unique, 500 word Blog
Blog Submission
Blog Promotion
1 unique, 500 word press releases
Press Release Submissions
Press Release Promotion
Image Submissions (Needed from client side)
Image Promotion
Social Book marking Submissions
PDF/PPT Submission
PDF/PPT Promotion
Google Local Listing/ Mapping
Search Engine Submissions
Directory / Citation submissions
Video Submissions (Needed from client side)
Video Promotion

Social Media activities
Facebook Account setup
Facebook Profile Promotion
Twitter Profile Setup
Twitter Profile Promotion
Google+ Profile Setup
Google+ Profile Promotion

Pretty straight forward, but any halfway competent website owner does most of these actions these days.

If you want to avoid being scammed by an SEO company ask these questions:
– What page will I get on Google/Bing/Yahoo. (Answer: they will never say guaranteed or first page. They’ll give an answer that says they can increase visibility, but should explain that everything else is up to Google’s automatic algorithms and the best they can do is to optimize for it.)

– How will I measure success? (Answer: increased click throughs, increased sales for those with sales sites, increase in visitors to the site, etc.)

– How long will this SEO campaign go for? (Answer: if they say indefinitely or can’t pin down an answer, dump them. True it may take a while to get going, but they should give a six month or a year number with specific performance deliverables.)

Found Pictures

Found Pictures

I found a big bag of vintage/antique pictures among items left behind by an evicted tenant. Based on the tenants, and the fact that these were left outside in the weather on a table, I am 100% sure that it was stolen. If you know who’s stuff this is, please let me know so I can get it back to them. They were likely stolen in August 2015 from somewhere in South East Portland.

In addition to the pictures, there is quite a bit of paperwork from Utah, Arizona and Washington D.C. including a life insurance policy card from 1943 for Mr. Joseph A. Reed who lived at 109 Blyer RD in Washington D.C.

Kid with Puppy

Found Pictures
Back of Picture says “Evelyn and Eastalyn Jefferies (Aunt Jane’s Twins)”

Unknown Baby

RPG Tables: Random Urban Gang generator

RPG Tables: Random Urban Gang generator

This table is great for creating random urban gangs to use in medieval fantasy RPG games.

Roll d8 – The gang’s money-making schemes include:
1. Distributing drugs.
2. Running heists of and/or fencing stolen gems and precious metals.
3. Petty theft, burglary, and/or pickpocketing.
4. Assassinations that look like accidents or that frame someone else.
5. Running brothels—exotic, low, or high-class.
6. Shaking down legitimate local businesses and/or city officials.
7. Serving as muscle for shady merchants and/or brothel-keepers.
8. Holding up outgoing ships or wagons.

Roll d20 – The gang’s colors are:
1. Black.
2. Red / scarlet.
3. Gold.
4. Forest green.
5. Royal blue.
6. Violet.
7. Silver / light grey.
8. Bronze.
9. Tan / khaki.
10. Brown / beaver.
11. Dark grey / gunmetal.
12. White.
13. Maroon.
14. Sky blue.
15. Navy blue.
16. Dark brown / chocolate.
17. Teal / turquoise.
18. Steel / blue grey.
19. Orange.
20. Olive green.

Roll d20 – The gang’s symbol is:
1. A skull.
2. A ghost.
3. An open hand.
4. A clenched fist.
5. An arrow.
6. A dagger.
7. A sword.
8. A hammer.
9. A crown.
10. A goblet.
11. The moon.
12. A star.
13. A fish.
14. A snake.
15. A badger.
16. A spider.
17. A rat.
18. A wolf.
19. A bear.
20. An eagle.

Roll d10 – Gangmembers often sport matching:
1. Shirts.
2. Jackets.
3. Scarves.
4. Vests.
5. Bandannas.
6. Boots.
7. Tattoos.
8. Hats.
9. Scars.
10. Mustaches.

Roll d10 – The gang’s leader is:
1. A dangerous megalomaniac.
2. A charismatic demagogue.
3. A mysterious foreigner.
4. A talented thief.
5. A well-known public figure.
6. A ruthless killer.
7. A femme fatale.
8. A charming rogue.
9. A dashing swashbuckler.
10. A brutish thug.

Roll d12 – For recruitment, the gang targets individuals who are:
1. Artisans.
2. Relocated peasants.
3. Sailors.
4. Drunks.
5. Beggars.
6. Thieves.
7. Servants.
8. Combat veterans.
9. Laborers.
10. Foreigners.
11. Young children.
12. Circus performers.
13. Orphans
14. Slaves
15. Law Enforcement
16. Politicians
17. House wives
18. Merchants
19. Farmers
20. Travelers

Roll d6 – The gang’s goals include:
1. Domination of the city’s politics.
2. Domination of the city’s trade.
3. Revenge against a rival gang in the same city.
4. Revenge against a rival gang in another city.
5. Revenge against the city’s elite.
6. Rebellion against the city’s elite.

Roll d10 – Gang members typically arm themselves with:
1. Wooden clubs.
2. Throwing knives.
3. Over-sized daggers.
4. Serrated daggers.
5. Daggers and crossbows.
6. Hammers and daggers.
7. Sticks and stones.
8. Shortswords.
9. Brass knuckles.
10. Bare fists.

Roll d10 – Gang members typically fight with:
1. Swarm tactics.
2. Hit-and-run tactics.
3. Ambush tactics.
4. Choreographed maneuvers.
5. Unpredictable maneuvers.
6. Lots of smiles and jokes.
7. Lots of fancy footwork.
8. Lots of screaming and shouting.
9. Kicking and stomping.
10. Lots of head-butting.

Roll d12 – The gang’s headquarters is hidden in or near:
1. The residence of the leader or a senior gangmember.
2. An artisan’s shop or guildhall.
3. A merchant’s office.
4. A tavern.
5. A brothel.
6. A warehouse or shipyard.
7. A temple complex.
8. The city’s sewers.
9. The town hall.
10. An abandoned guildhall or warehouse.
11. A shantytown
12. The residence of a wealthy individual.

Roll d12 – The gang is feared or respected by:
1. Fishermen and sailors.
2. Beggars and thieves.
3. Merchants and moneychangers.
4. Jewelers and gemcutters.
5. Politicians and magistrates.
6. Guards and sheriffs.
7. Soldiers and warriors.
8. Gladiators and pugilists.
9. Peasants and farmers.
10. Servants and slaves.
11. Priests and sages.
12. Women and children.

Roll d12 – Distinguishing feature for an individual:
1. A nose ring.
2. Shiny leather boots.
3. A hole in the toe of one boot.
4. A dagger in each boot.
5. A heavy gold chain around the neck.
6. A wide-brimmed hat.
7. A dagger tattoo on the forearm.
8. A snake tattoo around the arm.
9. A maniacal laugh.
10. A long, hooked nose.
11. An open shirt and a very hairy chest.
12. Extravagant mustaches.

RPG Tables: Random Pirate Crew Generator

RPG Tables: Random Pirate Crew Generator

Use this table to generate random pirate crews for your fantasy RPG game.

Roll d12 – The pirates’ ship is:
1. Little more than a raft.
2. A galley.
3. A longship.
4. A catamaran.
5. A cog.
6. A hulk.
7. A carrack.
8. A caravel.
9. A schooner.
10. A dreadnought.
11. A row boat
12. Multiple ships, roll twice on table again

Roll d8 – Presently, the pirates’ ship is:
1. Laden with treasure.
2. Full of stolen goods.
3. Well-stocked with provisions.
4. In tip-top shape.
5. “On loan” to some other pirates.
6. In need of repair.
7. Barely staying afloat.
8. Resting beneath the waves.

Roll d20 – The ship’s banner features:
1. A skull.
2. A pair of crossed bones.
3. A skull and cross bones.
4. A skeletal hand.
5. A skeletal fish.
6. A flaming skull.
7. A clenched fist.
8. A ghost.
9. A mermaid.
10. A pair of crossed cutlasses.
11. A dagger.
12. A bloody dagger.
13. An albatross.
14. A pelican.
15. A whale.
16. An octopus.
17. A swordfish.
18. A crab.
19. A sea turtle.
20. A big tuna.

Roll d12 – The ship’s mascot is:
1-4. A parrot:
1. A budgie (fond of saying “Ye scalawags!” or “Aye, Captain!”).
2. A cockatoo (fond of saying “Pieces of eight!” or “It’s shark week!”).
3. A conure (fond of saying “Dead men tell no tales!” or “Ahoy!”).
4. A macaw (fond of saying “Show me the booty!” or “Land, ho!”).
5-8. A monkey:
5. A capuchin monkey (with or without an eyepatch).
6. A macaque (with or without a vest).
7. A spider monkey (with or without a bandanna).
8. A tamarin (with or without mustaches).
9. An old turtle.
10. A lazy sea-faring cat.
11. A pot-belly pig.
12. A high-energy herding dog.

Roll d10 – The ship’s captain is:
1. A dangerous megalomaniac.
2. A charismatic demagogue.
3. A mysterious foreigner.
4. A talented thief.
5. A member of a prominent family.
6. A ruthless killer.
7. A femme fatale.
8. A charming rogue.
9. A dashing swashbuckler.
10. A brutish thug.
11. An old sailor.
12. A celebrated naval hero.

Roll d8 – The crew’s attitude toward their captain is:
1. Adoring and loyal.
2. Friendly and pleased.
3. Respectful and business-like.
4. Mercenary and eager.
5. Terrified and tight-lipped.
6. Disappointed and indifferent.
7. Restless and rebellious.
8. Angry and mutinous.

Roll d10 – Crewmembers often sport matching:
1. Puffy shirts.
2. Breeches.
3. Scarves.
4. Vests.
5. Bandannas.
6. Boots.
7. Tattoos.
8. Hats.
9. Scars.
10. Mustaches.

Roll d8 – The crew’s goals include:
1. Discovery of a legendary hidden treasure.
2. Domination of the region’s maritime trade.
3. Revenge against a naval hero.
4. Revenge against a rival pirate crew.
5. Rebellion against the dominant merchant traders.
6. A wealthy and peaceful retirement.
7. Violence to slake their bloodlust.
8. Drinking all the rum.

Roll d10 – Crewmembers typically arm themselves with:
1. Belaying pins (wooden clubs).
2. Throwing knives.
3. Over-sized daggers.
4. Serrated daggers.
5. Cutlasses.
6. Clubs and daggers.
7. Brass knuckles.
8. Bare fists.
9. Nets and tridents.
10. Harpoons.

Roll d10 – The pirate crew typically fights with:
1. Swarm tactics.
2. Hit-and-run tactics.
3. Ambush tactics.
4. Choreographed maneuvers.
5. Unpredictable maneuvers.
6. Lots of smiles and jokes.
7. Lots of fancy footwork.
8. Lots of screaming and shouting.
9. Kicking and stomping.
10. Lots of head-butting.

Roll d10 – The crew’s headquarters is hidden in or near:
1. A rugged seaside cliff.
2. A hidden lagoon.
3. A remote island.
4. A swampy river mouth.
5. A coastal cave.
6. A tavern.
7. A brothel.
8. A warehouse or shipyard.
9. A poor fishing village
10. An old lighthouse.

Roll d12 – The crew is notorious for:
1. Never leaving survivors.
2. Feeding captives to sharks.
3. Tattooing or branding captives.
4. Scalping captives.
5. Flaying captives.
6. Burning seaside villages.
7. Plundering the ships of a wealthy tyrant.
8. Using a lot of explosives.
9. Convening with ghosts.
10. Romantic escapades.
11. Singing bawdy songs.
12. Drinking too much rum.

Roll d12 Distinguishing tattoo for an pirate:
1. A dagger tattoo.
2. An anchor tattoo.
3. A skull tattoo.
4. A pair of crossed bones tattoo.
5. A snake tattoo.
6. A fish tattoo.
7. A spider web tattoo.
8. An octopus tattoo.
9. A whale tattoo.
10. A lobster tattoo.
11. A mermaid tattoo.
12. A dragon tattoo.

Roll d12 Distinguishing feature for an individual:
1. A nose ring.
2. Shiny leather boots.
3. Gold teeth.
4. An oversized dagger in the belt.
5. A heavy gold chain around the neck.
6. A wide-brimmed hat.
7. An eyepatch.
8. A long black beard.
9. A maniacal laugh.
10. Nothing.
11. An open shirt and a very hairy chest.
12. Extravagant mustaches.

RPG Tables: Smuggler band generator

RPG Tables: Smuggler band generator

Use in conjunction with Random Outlaw and Bandit Band generator after rolling a 6, 7, 8 or 9 on Table One.

Roll d6 – The smuggling ring’s primary modus operandi involves:
1. Underground tunnels.
2. Secret compartments.
3. Stealth watercraft.
4. Humanoid mules.
5. Bribery of officials.
6. A network of safehouses.

Roll d8 – The ring is supported by:
1. A prominent merchant.
2. An important minister or magistrate.
3. A major crime boss.
4. A pirate captain.
5. An admiral.
6. A group of subversives.
7. The captain of the guard or a local sheriff.
8. The sovereign’s main rival.